“Transformation doesn’t happen in a linear way, at least not one we can always track. It happens in cycles, convergences, explosions. If we release the framework of failure, we can realize that we are in interactive cycles, and we can keep asking ourselves — how do I learn from this?”
—Adrienne Maree Brown, Emergent Strategy

Hi — I grew up in an alcoholic family system, and I grew up wanting to be smaller, blend in, and not cause trouble. Much of my positive self-constructs were in how I was helpful, quiet, and polite. Humor - joking around - being easy-going, and having hissy fits, well those didn’t quite fit in. Decades later, I like the idea of having hissy fits right now. So that I can express feelings like heat, release what is contained tightly within like anger, and feel more ease in my body. Still, I don’t do it much. I’m “serious” and “proper,” you know. Yet, my heart and my spirit need this.

What might having more hissy fits allow within you?

short video “lets have a hissy fit together”

How to have a hissy fit:

Any darn way you want!
There’s NO way to do or NOT do this.
Feel your body. Your mood. Your sensations. Allow them. Whatever they are.
Follow the impulse you feel.
Move your breath.
Cultivate curiosity.
You can imagine a hissy fit too.
Touch your face, your arms.
Ask your kids

Some reasons I am having a hissy fit today:

We live within systemic agreements that undervalue people and erode our dignity.
We are ignored and taught to mold ourselves.
We are taught to smile with hidden illness, pain, depression, and anxiety.
We are taught to be effective through a rational approach while being relational is undervalued.
We are taught to override our needs and normalize hyper stress.

This is a new exploration I’m in. I hope it will help me to compare myself less to others and to versions of myself where I tell myself “I’m not there yet!” When I compare less, it feels easier to savor, love, and be present to my gifts and those of others.

As written by Adrienne Maree Brown,